Wow. Has it really been 2 years, almost to the day, since I last blogged? The past 2 years have been intense and I have used every ounce of strength to get through them.
I now have a 2 year old! She is just the best thing that has happened to me. And she saved my life at the age of 1. A year ago today, I made a bold move that would forever change my life.
I'll explain. And you must understand me here. This is a long post. I'm going to go through my past 2 years....what I've learned and what has happened. Sometimes blogging is like running for me. One of the best ways to clear your heart. Clear your head. Make the space for all that good stuff that IS now at the corner I'm standing at, not just a looming "around the corner. " ( See prior post)
Okie d! Here we go...
I will never forget just KNOWING I was pregnant. Just knowing that something was "off" and different. I remember holding that pregnancy test with absolute fear, waiting for my heart and my head to catch up. You see, I had an IUD IN. How was I pregnant?!
We had just moved back home, to Colorado, 4 months prior. I took a job with a great company of mostly all guys. You can imagine telling them that I was pregnant was the MOST FUN experience of my life! Yay! The new girl! She's preggo! But they were great, and so was I, despite all the sickness that ensued.
You see, I believe in miracles. I believe there is a God who gives us hints throughout our lives...hints of what is part of our purpose and in part what will make our heart smile. I don't do much of religion, but do a lot of relationship. That's my jam. So I know not only was our baby girl our miracle, she was also a form of a catalyst for my life to hit the brakes and figure things out. A saving grace. A hint.
I got breast implants years prior. I had always noticed things going on, but chalked them up to stress, or just getting older and hitting the big 3-0. What I didn't know is that they would kill me if something didn't get my attention. And the most scary thing is if I had not gotten pregnant, I would most certainly had NOT known about the extent of what they were doing to me until it was way too late.
Fast forward past 24 weeks of nausea and puking, the onset of preeclampsia at week 24, extreme joint pain to where I was wrapping my wrists every night so I could use my hands and wrists somewhat for work the next day. I had extreme vertigo to the point I got my crystals checked in my ears because I thought they were all out of whack. The room would just spin nonstop. I had tinitus and ended up with 3 counts of pink eye (or what I thought was pink eye). My memory was GONE. I had heard mamas joke about this, but for me it was scary. I was stumbling over words and honestly felt like I had lost my memory completely and knew it was far more than the "mama brain." Luckily, work was not affected, only every other area of life. I was gaining weight at an extreme rate and although eating a trememdous amount of protein ( think body building amts in the 180s-200 g) and eating so so well(lean meats, veggies and fruits, dairy, etc), I was putting on weight at a rapid rate. My back would lock out and I thought I was developing arthritis. My feet were beyond swollen. I was scared. My doctors, whom I will always love and appreciate, kept asking me to please stop working. I could not for reasons other than here. So on I pushed! I made it to week 35 and then mandatory house rest ensued. Fast forward through an incredibly difficult labor and delivery that lasted almost 4 full days.
I waited and waited for the symptoms to subside. I was told PREE would disappear after sometimes weeks postpartum. Around the 6 month mark I decided this was not normal and started my research.
March 2016, I did an extensive panel of bloodwork with my doctor. It was absolutely terrifying. I had many symptoms of Rheumatoid Arthritis, Hashiomotos, Lupus and now my bloodwork showed hints, but not diagnosis. I met with a Rheumatologist and he clarified with me that I did NOT have RA or Lupus and referred me to a doc for my thyroid. My family does not have a history of any of these conditions, so this was all so puzzling to me. I met with a doc for my thyroid. They wanted to put me on meds without much discussion. This concerned me. How could it be so easy to get on such powerful and expensive drugs without looking into my health or bloodwork?
I decided to take matters into my own hands and start my own extensive research. My MIL and SIL both brought to my attention that they had heard of some people reacting to med devices with similar symptoms as I had been having. So I googled issues with breast implants and bam! There it was. I found a Facebook group that had 13k women in it, March 2016. These women all had the EXACT SAME symtpoms as me! And their symtpoms improved when they removed their implants. This was by far the most bizzare and far fetched thing I had ever come across, but somehow it just resonated with my heart.
So I asked questions and researched for months. I scheduled a consult with my surgeon to discuss removing my implants. I asked him very direct questions. I understood that by even discussing these things with him was threatening his livlihood. But he shocked me. He told me that although it was very hard to say for certain my issues were coming from the implants, he could say that he did have many women who, once they had removed their implants, did MUCH BETTER with their health, and certain conditions improved, if not disappeared. Well, this did it for me. I had learned enough. I was done. If I didn't find out what life was like on the other side, I would never know and it would always wear away at me.
Explant booked for June 29, 2017.
I have absolutely never felt as sick as I felt during pregnancy and beyond. I told Matt at one point that if this was living for me for the rest of my future, I didn't want it. My days consisted of sitting on the couch absolutely exhausted. I was carrying an extra 50 lbs at this point, having gained 80+ from pregnancy. I had stopped living. Stopped hoping. Stopped smiling. I was very concerned and I knew if I didn't take a drastic measure, I would not make it. My health was spiraling out of control. I felt like so many of those space movies when the astranaut is just grasping for that one chance at the rope to save their life. To grab it and pull themself back to the spaceship. This was my only and last chance. My only hope. I had to know.
Prior to explant, I did a hair analysis to test the heavy metals in my system. I had started going to a naturopathic doctor at this point after being thrown every medicine solution in the book without much discussion. I had to know if there was another way. I found the BEST one in town and started discussions towards health. My doc and I were absolutely SHOCKED when the results came back. He came in with another doctor and the look on his face was of complete horror. Oh buddy, there was lead in my system. And so much that he thought he needed to bring a second doctor in to discuss this with me. I told him about my implants and all the women who were dealing with the same issues. His face went white. He said he had never heard of this but it all made sense and he was going to aggressively research this. My doc has since come back to me and said, "You know what? You were
right. Your implants were making you sick. " Sometimes you have to be
your own advocate. If you don't take that control for your own health,
who will?
Yay! Made it to my explant day. I kid you not. The second I woke up, I felt better. Sure, I had just gone through anesthesia and had some pain meds in my system, so it would change, right? Nope. I never took one pain pill and felt so good I wanted to just do everything! This continued and continued.
So there's the background for you.
So how to get all this lead out? Lead is nasty nasty stuff. It gets into your bones and into every crevice in your body. It makes it way into your brain and causes memory fade and symptoms like stuttering, forgetting words, and just overall fogginess. It makes your joints hurt. It throws off our thyroid and causes autoimmune diseases to jump out of no where and exist in an otherwise healthy body. It lives in every part of who you are. You have to force it out. And this process was absolutely exhausting.
November 2017, I started the process of chelation using natural medicine. This is using substances to remove the lead from your body. Basically, they go into every area and leach the lead out of your system. On top of all these tests, it had also become apparent that I had MTHFR. This is a gene mutation that is passed from parents to their kids. There are 50% of Americans who have it, but it may never give them issues and they will not know otherwise. If you have it, you are not able to detox as someone without the mutation. You add this on top of the extreme amounts of lead in my system, and I was fighting a losing battle the 4.5 years I had implants. My body was actively trying to break them down and destroy them, thus raising up my own army to fight them and my own body. That process left unattended, had started the process of all those chemicals breaking down in and leaching into my body. Where does lead come from with silicone? It is actually a catalyst for silicone production. It was from the implants. I had poisioned myself without knowing it.
We also did a food sensitivity test that exposed some things I was abolutely too sensitive for at this time, and cut them out. My number one thing was COFFEE, then tomatoes, potatoes, peppers, and a couple others. I was so sad! My doc told me I'd be sick during chelation, but I didn't think much of it. I mean, I had been through the worst, right? Nope. As you go through chelation, all that crud is stirred up again so your body can transport it out of your system. And if your body isn't able to transport it out quick enough as it's released, you get sick. Super sick. Think all the symptoms above and then some. During this last 7 months of chealtion, I held tight to the fact that I WOULD beat this. I had to. I wanted to live again!
So here we are. A year later. I am at the end of my chelation, without a month left to go. I will be done August 1! We will do another found of extensive bloodwork to see what we need to do next. I am feeling 1000x better. Oh! And that group of women I had found on Facebook with the same issues? It wasn't limited to breast implants. Some react from any foreign object in their bodies. And there are almost 45k in that group now. Its the real deal.
-20 or so supplements daily, taken at various increments throughout the day
-Rebounding on a trampoline for my lymph system
-Far infared sauna 2-3x a week for 45-60 mins
-Dry brushing 2-3x a week (followed by an extremely hot, then extremely cold shower to stimulate my lymph system)
-Working out (Cardio 3-5x a week, Weights 2x a week)
-Gluten, dairy, sugar, alcohol free since November 2017
-For the past month cut out all rice, potato, beans, eggs, legumes. Only eating some lean meats, some veggies and some fruits. Kombucha has been my best friend!
-I had a horrible bout of IBS from the lead and side effects it caused. Gut repair and healing
-Continually clearing all negative things from my life: people, things, and basically anything that doesn't help me. I do not have time for negative energy and won't allow it in my life anymore.
-Smiling! And focusing on hope and goals.
-Avoiding additional things like nail polish and chemicals
Where I WAS:
-I couldn't workout. Couldn't run. Couldn't do a thing. I had lost my muscle almost in entirety. No tone left. I used to run half marathons! Did the Beaver Creek Tough Mudder! I was a wreck :(
-Gained 80lbs
-Could hardly climb the stairs because of severe joint pain
-Couldn't wear any of my shoes, jewelry etc due to the inflammation in my body
-Some days, so puffy I could see my cheeks under my eyes
-Severe inflammation
-Severe IBS
-Horrible back and neck pain, joints "stuck" in place after sitting on floor and trying to straighten out when standing up. Very stiff.
-Extreme amounts of lead in my body
-Hair and fingernails brittle, dry and destroyed
-Eyelashes and eyebrows gone
-Skin pale and unable to tan, would only burn (I used to tan easily and never burn!)
-progesterone low, vitamin D extremely low, estrogen high
-Adrenal fatigue
-No moons left on my fingernails and toenails (signifies adrenal and secondary thyroid, sickness)
-Mentally destroyed. So sad
-Severe edema and puffiness in my arms, legs, hands and feet. My head was even swollen where I couldn't wear my scrub caps for work anymore because they wouldn't fit my head, even with thin hair
-Red eyes from autoimmune kicks, and developed iritis. Super scary!
-Dizzy and tinnitus
-Sick all the time with anything anyone had going around
-Very high Resting Heart Rate and racing heart at times
-Situational depression (ya think? haha)
-Couldn't sleep
-Unable to lose any weight. So discouraging. It was the inflammation!
-Overall, felt like I was on my death bed daily.
Where I am NOW:
-Running and training for a half marathon Aug 11th!
-Working out 3-5x a week and back at my previous strength and weight lifting
-Smiling!
-Skin clear and has color. I'm able to tan and do not burn anymore!!!
-Mind clearing! I can think again!! :)
-Dizziness and joint pain is GONE.
-I have moons on my hands, every nail except my pinky's (which are coming)! And see moons on my big toes for the first time in YEARS.
-Hair is thick, full and healthy again! Nails are strong.
-Eyelashes and eyebrows are filling in thick again
-No more symptoms of IBS
-Eyes are white again and no more flare ups with iritis
-HAPPY!
-Sleeping great
-Focused and calm, no more anxiety
-Personality returning
-Can wear all my shoes!
-LOSING WEIGHT!
I am a completely different person. My baby saved my life. Had I not gotten pregnant, I would not have had the extreme shifts that would throw my body into a complete tailspin and eventually grab my attention. And how does one get pregnant on an IUD still in place? She is our miracle IUD baby, but she is also God's way of saving my health before it was too late. I am so entirely grateful.
Cheers to a POSITIVE AND HAPPY FUTURE, FRIENDS. You have one shot at this life. If it's not what you want it to be, change it. Stop complaining and focusing on the negative. Deal with your stuff with your people, your tribe. But deal with it. Stop the bitterness and complaining. Get through it and LIVE. Stagnant complaining is toxic. You have to take action.
Thank you, God, for my baby girl, for my returning health, and for a husband who has walked through the MOST difficult time in my life with me, supporting me. Thank you for those seemingly random hint that are dropped at the most opportune times that give us insight into what we ought to be doing. Everything happens for a reason.
