So here I sit. So many thoughts running around in my mind. I guess I'll start with what is the meaning of friendship. When I say this, I am not talking about the surfacey, when it's convenient for you type of relationships. I am talking about real, genuine, in your face when needed, friendships. And I am pondering the past of my life as to how in the world mine was void of so many I thought existed.
Life's changes sure do have a way of churning up the relationships you have and showing the proof is in the pudding when it comes down to who really cares for you, and who is in it for what they can gain, whatever that entails. I am sad to say that the latter is more common from what I have experienced. It makes me very sad. And embarrassed for those who I held dear to my heart as friends. Why is it that close "friends" suddenly disappear in a time of trouble only to never return again? Or are too busy to even text to see how you are doing when they know you are in the middle of something tough? Or why is it that when things change, they back track from what you thought was a stable friendship? Sure, I know we all have been on either side, and no one is perfect, but I can surely say that I have tried my hardest to be the kind of friend I would like in my life. It is kinda hard to see that wasn't returned but in a few friendships. Thank you, God, for those! ( You know who you are :) ) Sure, friendships are like the ebb and flow of the ocean with the seashells...some stay, others go away with the tide, while some stay awhile only to be swept away in time to the ocean again. I have learned to appreciate the amount of time I hold with every person who comes into my life. Not all are there for the duration of my life, and others are there simply to assist in a season til it comes to an end.
I guess sometimes God has to strip away everything old to make room for the new. I am in that season right now. So ready for the new and I have room for it too!! Just simply stated, cannot wait. God, please bring the fresh season of friendships and life's changes into my life. I have such an eagerness and anticipation for what You have next for me.
As to anyone who may read this and feel as though I have not been a good friend to them: I am truly sorry. I tried my best and had no idea til learning this stage of life, how it felt and what it felt like to have a back turned on, and forgotten. I truly had no idea what my actions entailed and although words may never do what I wish they could, I apologize. It hurts and I would wish it on not one person. Here's to the newness that only God can bring and being the kind of person a friend would call a brother or sister to them. Lessons learned and ready to apply them. In the meantime, I have learned that I can lean on God when times are lonely or tough in the friend department. He's just always there, and ready to listen. Kinda cool and He will always care. I can appreciate that more than ever now. Simply stated, He's there for me no matter what and I am thankful for that. Cheers to the future, my future and your future. Good things are in store! Let's go.
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