Tonight is open thought time. My vent. I rarely allow myself the luxury of writing without a filter and tonight I am. Today has been a VERY sad day for me. I chose to, and initiated the closing of a door on a long term friendship I've had since my childhood. Why? Because it wasn't healthy. Why I've allowed so many passive people into my life in the past is beyond me, but that season of life is over. Done.
I hold pretty stubborn to my beliefs in that when you have a close friendship with someone, you should allow for the ebbs and flows of life and give each other the space each needs to live, while also enjoying time together. With this individual, we shared everything with each other and spoke into each other's lives quite a bit. Recently, when I moved, she had a very tough time in thinking that everything was all different now and that we couldn't be close anymore. Why, I still am puzzled. She has moved multiple times over the years, in different states, yada yada yada. In all honesty, we didn't even hang hardly ever, and to my memory, did maybe 5 (if lucky and rounding up), active things together in the span of 20+ years...other than sitting and drinking coffee. Oiy.
So, issues arose. Big whoop-ti- do surprise. I watched her with so many other people and issues over the years, that I was completely naive to think that something would never come up here. Still do not have much idea about what was wrong, but as one is unwilling to talk about it, there's not a whole lot the other can do. Out of my control. I firmly believe if you have an issue with someone, you need to talk with them directly and if that's not possible, then phone, but for goodness sake, never over text or email! Are you kidding me?! That is the most impersonal, and misunderstood form of communication there is. And when trying to solve an issue that is already without ANY clarity, it's a lose lose situation. I refused to and will not, read any emails as I stated it very clearly that my intent was directly with this person. Email slander is such a cowardly, cheap shot. It truly shows the heart was not to ever reconcile. Victim mentality galore. Take a shot and let it simmer. Shoot again. Oh, they wanna talk? No way.... Um, yeah, I have no absolutely NO respect for that.
It makes me sad to lose someone from so many years back, but you know, honestly, a true friend is willing to talk about what's irking them before the 4 month mark hits of silence on the issue. I was kidding myself in thinking it was a healthy friendship. So now, it's done. I can move on and not have that person trying to control me with the silent death of a something when someone is unwilling to reconcile a situation. There. Done. Moving on. Lessons learned and noted. Will not deeply befriend someone with so many huge issues in life and carrying grudges again.
Love this quote I came across today that went somewhat like this:
"When someone is withdrawing so much out of your life and never depositing, you are soon left with an empty, or even negative account. Know when to close the account. "
Account closed.
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